Ok, the title didn’t work. A failed attempt at literary symmetry. Let’s move on.
In honour of The Social Network being released for purchase/rental this week, I have taken the time to put down some random thoughts about Facebook.
1. Why is Facebook called Facebook? It’s a dumb name. Ain’t no reading going on in Facebook. And for the most part, people(creepers) aren’t looking at faces. http://thechive.com/category/girls/fb-girls/. Facebook should be called ScanBoob. Or at the very least FriendPorn.
2. Who took my Facebook virginity from me? Who was my first Facebook friend? I can’t remember.
The new Facebook shows how long you’ve had a “Facebook Relationship” with another person. But who was your first? If you know, drop their name in the comments section and show your love for that very special first Facebook friend.
3. Since when did Facebook become an outlet for artistic/creative genius? http://mashable.com/2010/12/14/new-facebook-profile-hacks/. I especially like 3. Jason Keiter’s pic hack. @seopolis to create magic on Facebook because she’s the most creative person I know.
4. When did “official” lose it’s standing to “Facebook Official”? If you’re not, “in a relationship with…” on Facebook, he/she is not your boyfriend/girlfriend. There’s something so daunting about making a relationship Facebook Official. It is sending me into cardiac arrest and a panic sweat just thinking about it.
It’s like putting your heart on display, quite literally. And when you break up with someone, that heart is broken, on Facebook, for all to see.
Then come all the posts on your wall, “What happened?”, “Are you okay?”, “Hey baby, now that he’s out of the way, let’s go grab a drink!”
5. The online chore, Poking. Stop poking me. I don’t want to poke back, but I will. Because I am more stubborn than you. Seriously, stop.
6. Birthday Notifications are Gold. Can’t remember someone’s birthday? Don’t worry, Facebook lets you know with notifications. And if not, chances are your News Feed will show everyone else messaging that friend. But what do we do about those d-bags that don’t list their birthdays!?
7. Why do I log into Facebook so often? If you went into your History for the day and looked up how many times you checked your FB account, what number would you come up with? Mine averages out to 2 visits every waking hour. Sometimes I open up Facebook on my browser without even thinking about it. It’s just habit now.
8. And related to Facebook…somewhat. Jesse Eisenberg is so cool. He did such a great job in The Social Network and in Zombieland. I love Zombies and I love Facebook. Clearly, there needs to be a mashup of Glee-ic proportions. www.zombiebook.com, anyone?
9. Remember Myspace? Friendster? Asian Avenue? They’ve all died. Facebook rules the world. It is the 2nd most popular website in the world, behind only Google. What social networking site will eventually topple Facebook? I’m thinking www.WUPHF.com is an early front runner.
10. One day, I’ll be strong enough to quit Facebook. But not now.
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