First dates. There are rules. Follow them and you’ll be better for it. Now, you don’t have to. You can try and go-it alone, but you’re lowering your chances exponentially with each broken rule. But hey, even a blind squirrel occasionally gets a nut.
Rules from other sites.
AskMen.com Great site, lots of fun content.
“7 Things Women Expect on a First Date”
1. Go the extra mile – or two.
2. Be polite – not pushy.
3. Be complimentary.
4. Be curious about her.
5. Be assertive – not aggressive.
6. Always have a backup plan.
7. Leave her impressed.
Good list. But not completely accurate. Probably written from a woman’s perspective. My apologies if you’re offended, but what women say they want and what women really want, isn’t always the same. And if this 7/7 man came along, he’d probably fall right into the friend zone.
And from CNN.com, “10 First Date Rules for Guys“
1. Take charge.
2. Smile.
3. Mind your body language.
4. Ask questions.
5. Listen.
6. Use flattery, appropriately.
7. Act confident.
8. No pawing allowed.
9. Please pay. Feminism, shmeminism.
10. Say goodnight.
Another decent list. Written by a women. This is what women think they want on a first date. Don’t get me wrong, women probably do want everything that’s on these two lists, but if they got this 17/17 man, it wouldn’t work. 17/17= friend zone.
Here’s my rules for first dates (for men). And for the women, you can read, Anita Appleby’s “Of course you’re still single, take a look at yourself, you dumb slut”. Remember, these are rules for first dates.
1. Keep the first date short. 45 minutes to 1hr in length. You’ll know if you are interested within 30 minutes. She’ll probably know within 15. Don’t drag the first date on. Keep it light and casual. Keep her wanting more.
2. Keep the first date cheap. Keep it under 20 dollars. Why waste money on a woman you may never see again in your life? Don’t be fooled, you should be paying. If you let a woman pay for the date, or even go dutch, you are most likely never going to see her again. The same way that a woman shouldn’t put out on a first date, a man shouldn’t dish out on a first date. Keep her wanting more.
3. Location. Go somewhere you can talk. Go somewhere you can do something else while talking. Example. Go for a walk (short and cheap). Conversation naturally ebbs and flows, rises and falls, and if you’re sitting at a table with nothing else going on, the silence can be deafening. But if you go for a walk, you can at least point out “interesting” things or be “pensive” as you quietly look out into the distance.
3b. Have a plan. Show that you know what you’re doing by knowing where you’re going. Take her somewhere that has beauty. Examples. A quaint little coffee shop, or a small park that has some character to it.
4. Talking is not communicating. Communication is as much receiving, as it is giving. You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, so talk less and listen more. Don’t just hear what they’re saying, but absorb it. Reflect on it. Internalize it. And then be ready to use it.
5. Be ready to use it. The chance will come toward the middle or end of a date to reference something she said earlier on in the date. Do it right and you’ll show off your great listening skills. And that is how to Be witty.
6. Wit shows intelligence and so does humour. So, Be funny. Don’t be crude or vulgar with your humour. Be witty and sarcastic. Don’t laugh at your own jokes. It’s weird. The more a girl laughs, the more she will be charmed by you. Remember, that she is probably not funny. Women, aside from Ellen Degeneres and Sarah Silverman, are not funny. So, be ready with a fake grin, for when she tries.
7. Be complimentary. Women love compliments. Well, EVERYONE loves compliments. It’s an instant ego boost. Pick your compliments wisely. Don’t say, “Nice breasts”. It probably won’t go over well. If you want to compliment her physical beauty, don’t single out one aspect of her body. It’s creepy. Girls take time to look good, so show them you appreciate it. So, try something like, “You look fantastic tonight. I love that dress on you.” If you’re feeling really confident, go in for the cheese and add, “I just can’t take my eyes off you.” WARNING. That is an expert move. And you need to practice it. Because if you don’t, half way through that last line, you’ll be sing-talking Frankie Valli’s “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You”.
8. Be a bit of a douchebag. What? Yes, be douchey. Don’t be witty/humourous/charming/complimentary without mixing in some douche into the equation. Nice guys finish last. They really do. Take it from a former “nice guy”. Nice guys go straight to the friend zone. Poke fun at her. Mildly insult her. But, do NOT make fun of an obvious weakness. That’s the quick route to the asshole zone. Avoid being an asshole, but be a little mean.
9. Confidence is king. Take charge. Show her you are a man. But don’t be cocky or pretentious. You have to show her that you are a man who can take care of her. It’s something about our genes and survival of the fittest and all that jazz. You are the lion king. You are Simba. And if you’re really good at it, you may just be Mufasa.
10. Practice, practice, practice. There is always a new rule to add. So, go on many first dates. It will make you better at them. “Experience is the best teacher.”
11. My first date rules. As in, a first date with me is awesome. This last rule is for all the single women who are reading this. Hi. I’m Will.
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Much love to @trademark101, @seopolis and @karenahn for the inspiration
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